This post was originally written just after valentines. Things are better now but it should have been posted earlier. I was trying to get my blog to post under “travel” and “lifestyle” but haven’t quite figured it out yet.. It keep me from updating the blog on this subject so I’m posting it now. Like I said its a travel and life blog.. So if you only want to follow the travelling skip this and next post 🙂
I was on my flight today listening to Florence and the machines ” what kind of man” and it hit me really hard. It’s a great song and the lyrics rang true to quite a few of my past relationships.. Not being all in, but leaving the door open.
Anyways.. The post is below:
So it’s no secret that my two dogs (or my girls as I often call them) were my valentines this year. And really.. They give unconditional love, and are always happy to see me… So I’d say I’m a pretty lucky girl.❤️
But I had kind of been seeing a guy for awhile,…. Yeah and didn’t tell most people as I knew it wasn’t going to last… Not my choice I thought he was pretty great… But anyways… it ended awhile ago and I didn’t walk away as soon as I should have… Could have saved me stress, heartache and all that… Well… What can I say… I’m a sucker for punishment and am still learning. When someone says they’re not good in relationships.. THEY MEAN IT. Okay okay. He was honest about it… But we both have to own up where we went wrong. He shouldn’t have been open to dating me if he was going to shut right down, and I should have walked away the second he said that he doesn’t “do relationships”
Life lesson: people come into your life at exactly the right time, for exactly the right reason. This guy healed parts of me that were broken and after I’d done so much work on fixing myself and the hurt I had… He came along and helped me further. I had worked on myself enough that I was willing and ready for something more. He offered kindness which had been missing in previous relationships. However…. Just because someone comes along at the right time and helps you grow…. Doesn’t mean they’re meant to stay. It was meant to be over soon after it started… I’m not good at letting go. I’ll get into that in another post at another time.. This post is about my dog, and I’m getting there…
I’ve been stressed, between this guy and me being over (had been awhile but we still were hanging) and he offended me the last time I saw him. I thought he was better than that… But I think he had his back up. Afraid.. Yeah I think so, but not here to diagnose what he has going on…
Lol. … You see what I did with the title of this post? Funny right? But, I wouldn’t call him that really. It’s just catchy. And I appreciate him for what he is, and probably all he ever should have been… A friend.. Oh well. My heart wanted more.. 😪
So between this guy and my upcoming trip with so much to still do… I was feeling emotional and stressed.
I met one of my closest friends for a walk. We did over 5 km and were enjoying our day completely. She allowed me to vent about my stresses, and she talked about hers. It was incredibly windy but a warm day for what is supposed to be winter in Alberta. On our way back to the vehicle…. Things went wrong. My girls caught scent of something and before I could control them they were pulling me down an icy hill. I tried to get my balance and hold them on leash better and somehow one got away. Oh Roxy. My girl who stays by my side always…. Was gone after who knows what… Turns out she met a porcupine that wasn’t so happy to meet her.
My heart was hurting for her. She got away pretty lucky all considering. Too me it was awful and horrible… And she certainly wasn’t happy, but they weren’t all over her body and down her throat. It could have been worse. She seemed to only have quills in her nose. But still there was enough. Off to the vet we went.
Side note. Find a friend who loves you unconditionally like I have because I’m beyond grateful for her. Her support is solid, and her kindness is contagious. When shit goes wrong she has my back… I hit the jackpot with the friends I have in my life, and she is no exception.
My girls are my life and my loves and my family. Seeing one or both in pain is not ok. It hurts me. But man did it put things in perspective. Who cares that this guy I liked hadn’t texted in days, didn’t apologize for hurting my feelings. It doesn’t matter one bit when my girl Roxy was needing surgery to get the quills out. The best part is the tiny reply I did get back from him… 5 words… None of which were taking responsibility for what upset me, or apologizing… Just went to show me… Not everyone is willing to own their own shit... All that stress for no good reason. I was warned about boys like that. Emotional roller coaster I was allowing myself to be on… For someone who’s not capable of being accountable, or at least meeting somewhere in the middle. I’ll talk about that another time. But in times of stress, you realize quickly that anxiety and stressing over someone …. Well what can I say. Life happens and things get put into perspective…
So now I can just focus my stress on financial woes from my vet bill and planning my trip.
And Roxy ? She’s no worse for wear now. That girls got spirit. And hopefully has learnt that you don’t make friends with porcupines…. And I shouldn’t have tried so hard with someone who has their quills out too…